Bearing Witness to David Bazan and Living Rooms

David Bazan should be taught in school. At least, I think I would have gotten more out of my high school education if it’d been something like “equal parts David Bazan and curriculum.”

I have wanted to write so much about David Bazan for a year now, and kept on putting it off because it’s hard to shoulder writing about something that means a lot to you. I just got back from his Living Room show in Allston, MA, and I’m still buzzing from the experience, so this seems like a good time.

Being a fan of music has really defined my lifestyle, and it was amazing to be in an environment with so many similar people. Most of my friends don’t really “get” going to show after show after show; most of the time I really do just buy two tickets to a show and try to find someone to go with (which is crazy because I go to so many good shows). And then to be put in a room full of people who totally get it! I just experienced a wonderful kind of renewal in excitement about experiencing music. Being into music, going to shows, and so on is just like any other hobby or thing you love—it can get tedious and at times feel like a chore. The same routine of printing out tickets and getting directions, driving, sitting around, waiting, getting tired, driving back, and so on. It’s a lot, especially if most of the shows you go to are a 1-3 hour commute away. Tonight reminded me that music is more than just the sum of its parts, and it’s these kinds of reminders that keep me living the life that I do.

I happened to be the first person (besides the hosts) to arrive at the show, so I got to spend about an hour hanging out before the rest of the crowd showed up. The hosts were absolutely wonderful people and fans, and not only provided a comfortable and welcoming environment, but bought pizza, cupcakes, soda, beer, and candy for everyone. One of the hosts in question is in fact the writer of Bradley’s Almanac, a Boston-based music blog that you should all peruse.

As soon as David Bazan walked to the front of the living room and took his guitar out, I felt this unbelievable drop in my stomach. He opened with “Strange Negotiations,” the title track from his upcoming release. It’s hard to mentally recap a song after only seeing and hearing it once, but the only thing “Strange Negotiations” and other new songs left to be desired was a copy of the record. I can’t remember every song, but he also played “Please Baby Please,” “Hard to Be,” “Cold Beer and Cigarettes,” and “Priests and Paramedics.” The entire night felt more like a running conversation between the audience and Bazan than a normal show. David paused after every few songs to kindly ask if there were any questions or concerns from anyone in the audience.

It’s faster to buy cigarettes and some cold beer
If you don’t rattle the cashier
By asking her back to your room
She’s calling security

The show went by so quickly that when David announced that there were only a few more songs left I thought it was crazy that it was ending so early. I had a few moments of nervousness because I wanted very badly to hear “Bearing Witness” but was scared of being denied a request (and I felt hesitant to be the only audience member to ask for a request) but I also knew that I would have felt terrible if I didn’t request it and he never played it. I think he’d just finished playing “Please Baby Please,” which ended up being the penultimate song, when I shyly raised my hand and asked, “Would you consider a request?” He politely said that yes, he would, and I asked for “Bearing Witness.”

When he agreed to the request, I experienced a kind of emotional rush that I often associate with music, but don’t experience very frequently because it is so intense. I think a lot about how our reactions seem often like memories of reactions; when I hear of a tragedy, I immediately relate and sympathize, but I don’t constantly feel that pain. Sometimes I feel it and sometimes I just know that it’s there. Last night I really felt it. I actually had to work really hard to stop myself from crying during “Bearing Witness,” which ended up being the last song of the night.

As soon as the set ended, I clumsily told David that I’ve extracted more valuable wisdom just from “Bearing Witness” than I have from anything else for months, if not years. And it’s just true. If I was ever the kind of person to get a verse tattooed on my body somewhere, it would probably be this one,

Though it may alienate your family
and blur the lines of your identity
Let go of what you know and honor what exists
Son, that’s what bearing witness is
Daughter, that’s what bearing witness is

More specifically, I would get Let go of what you know and honor what exists but I think it’s nice to read it in context of the verse. This one line really has been my mantra for a long time. Whenever I have been angry or confused, or felt lost or hopeless, I’ve repeated this piece of advice to myself, and I’ve usually been able to come back to a place of clarity and peace. I’m reminded of a Jewish spirituality book that I like to read, in which the author discusses forgiveness. Forgiveness is none of the following: acceptance, denial, revenge. It’s just letting go.

Whether it’s religion or our “heteronormative society” or our other terrible societies it’s crazy to think of how many presumptions we all have. However enlightened and positive I feel I am, I feel that every day when I get dressed in the morning, I also put on and carry around so many convictions about how I’m positive the world should be. And I let it get in the way of living. I probably wouldn’t be able to count the number of times each day I let my convictions, “what I know,” disrupt what would be a more congruent lifestyle; but my fingers are so tightly molded around the things I’m sure of that I don’t have the strength to open my fists and let go. And that’s what this song is to me. I can’t express enough gratitude toward David Bazan for writing this song, and for taking my request last night, especially when he was only going to play one more song.

Throughout the night there was a lot of interesting dialogue between David and the audience. I resonate really deeply with David Bazan’s attitude toward the music industry. I want to spend my money on his concerts and merchandise because it feels so sincere, because I can see what I’m supporting and not doubt that it’s something I believe in. The host asked about the short length of time it took David to record Strange Negotiations, and also about the short gap between the announcement and release of the record. David replied that much of the motivation for the small amount of time between the announcement and release is making sure the fans, and the people who are really supporting the music, are a priority. He brought up such a good point: why should a handful of elite music journalists get to listen to the record months before the fans, the people who really care about and are supporting the music? (I’m not implying that these groups are mutually exclusive, but am broadly summarizing a scenario.) You might recall David Bazan asking for donations (or rather, investments) a la I Helped Bazan Make a Record last fall—and I agree with the man, the people who care so much they’ll give an artist an advance on his record are the people who are going to bring more fans in than any kind of publicity stunt.

David’s set made me feel extremely excited for the release of Strange Negotiations next month, and for his full-band tour this summer. But even so, and even though it’s been a while, I’m still beyond excited about Curse Your Branches.

One of the anecdotes that I recalled from the night was David discussing his views toward “bad people” and how they relate to reality. He said that he used to sort of shrug off others’ flaws under a blanket, “we’re all bad,” kind of logic. But then, he said, he realized, you know what? That’s just not accurate. For example, George W. Bush is directly responsible for the deaths of countless innocent people. And he, David Bazan, just isn’t. One of my first reactions is YES. I’m reminded of the paradox that arises when faced with others who believe, as Bazan might say, crazy batshit things. But there’s some kind of line between tolerating all viewpoints and giving people freedom to express themselves and between tolerating intolerance. And these are the lines between what we know and what exists, and the tricky bit is how difficult it is to locate exactly where these lines are.

I think everyone in America should own a copy of Curse Your Branches. I’ve been deeply hurt and have lost a lot to the ignorance and evil and fear that manifests itself as evangelical, fundamentalist Christianity. And for me there are days when this album, and David Bazan’s story, are the only things that can break through that and remind me that there’s a real world out there, too.

So if it starts to get you down
Just pretend
That you don’t make your living
From selling advertising
Tracking trends, corralling demographics,
And maximizing traffic

I once attended a gathering of Seventh-Day Adventists, and heard a sermon in which the speaker asked everyone in the audience to pray for a “gain” of at least 6,000 more souls that year. (Note: I’m not trying to single out SDA, I am simply including the detail.) And it’s just like…damn. I remember glancing around the audience to see many people nodding along with the figure, and I had to wonder if there was some kind of reward program for whoever brought in the most souls.

“Bearing Witness” is such a meaningful song to me because there is both so much good and so much evil contained in the very idea of bearing witness. I grew up in a somewhat Jewish, somewhat secular environment, and was never exposed to the idea of bearing witness until late in high school. I’m guessing that as popular as the concept is, there are still tons of people like me who never heard of it. I think this kind of thing is the worst of it: if you’re a Christian, when you meet another person, you should feel responsible to bear witness about the good news of Jesus Christ to that person, and if you don’t, and that person never knows Jesus, their unsaved soul is on your shoulders because “you might be the only Christian they ever meet.” This concept was entirely flabbergasting to me because I had never understood religion as a place which contained so much guilt.

What I think is difficult is the idea of bearing witness isn’t altogether evil; in fact, I think I am always striving to do a better job of “bearing witness” to the things I believe in. But doing it right is much deeper than trying to convince someone else that they need to start thinking the way you do about things. I feel an innate responsibility to do justice and live up to what I love, the things and the people in my life, because my idea is that if I am as filled with joy as I claim to be by these things, it’s my responsibility to do something with it that will help another person in a meaningful way. And that is what bearing witness can be.

If we rounded up people in 2011 to brand as modern day “prophets,” I would nominate David Bazan, because the world would be a better place if more people took in the messages and lessons in his music, and I say this whether these people are Christians “caught up in their own false image of God” (Martin Buber) or the opposite or anywhere in between. He has some of the best and clearest writing in music today, and one of the most organic and sincere business models in the industry.

David Bazan is embarking on a rather thorough US Summer Tour this June, and I think you’d all be crazy not to come out. Here are the dates:

06/01 Wed – Salt Lake City UT – Kilby Court
06/02 Thu – Denver CO – Hi Dive
06/03 Fri – Kansas City MO – Record Bar
06/04 Sat – Council Bluffs IA – Westfair Amphitheater – w/ Bright Eyes
06/06 Mon – St Paul MN – Turf Club
06/08 Wed – Chicago IL – Lincoln Hall
06/10 Fri – St Louis MO – Old Rock House
06/11 Sat – Columbus OH – The Basement
06/12 Sun – Akron OH – Musica
06/13 Mon – Pontiac MI – Pike Room
06/14 Tue – Toronto ON – Lee’s Palace
06/15 Wed – Ottawa ON – Maverick’s
06/17 Fri – Ithaca NY – The Haunt
06/18 Sat – Hamden CT – The Space
06/19 Sun – Cambridge MA – TT the Bears
06/22 Wed – New York NY – Bowery Ballroom
06/23 Thu – Philadelphia PA – Johnny Brenda’s
06/24 Fri – Washington DC – Black Cat
06/25 Sat – Chapel Hill NC – Local 506 – w/ Centro-matic
06/27 Mon – Orlando FL – The Social
06/28 Tue – Atlanta GA – The Earl
06/29 Wed – Birmingham AL – The Bottletree
06/30 Thu – New Orleans LA – One Eyed Jacks
07/01 Fri – Baton Rouge LA – Spanish Moon
07/02 Sat – Houston TX – Fitzgerald’s
07/03 Sun – Denton TX – Dan’s Silverleaf
07/05 Tue – Austin TX – ACL Satellite Sets
07/07 Thu – Phoenix AZ – Sail Inn
07/08 Fri – San Diego CA – Casbah
07/09 Sat – Long Beach CA – Alex’s Bar
07/10 Sun – Los Angeles CA – Troubadour
07/12 Tue – Visalia CA – Cellar Door
07/13 Wed – San Francisco CA – The Independent
07/15 Fri – Portland OR – Mississippi Studios
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